Something that I never had...

Perhaps...

it's the scary unknown

the vast emptiness

silent

engulfing

Can't you see

been caught up too long

lingering

hoping

Unexplainable

irrational

I've reached the bottom

waiting

Pause.

I don't want to fall

made up my mind

it's all or nothing at all

Stop.

because it wasn't

not even merely

a thing I never had

something that wasn't meant to be

***

Somedays I just keep pretending

That you'll stay

Dreaming of a different ending

I wanna hold on

But it hurts so bad

And I can't keep something that I never had

I keep tellin' myself

Things can turn around with time

And if I wait it out

You could always change your mind

Like a fairy tale

Where it works out in the end

Can I close my eyes

Having you lying here again

Then I come back down

Then I fade back in

Then I realize

It's just what might have been

You don't see me

You don't feel me like I feel you.

***

It's a long time since I last blogged here...

Online blogging never really did seem to work out for me...

I either think it's not appropriate to post...or I'm just too lazy to write...

But one thing never changes...

Writing helps to ease my mind and soul...